In an effort to save money and trim expenses for 2010, Pirates ownership has announced that the players will each be required to bring two balls to the games. Once these balls are all used up, the fans will have to start contributing or the game will be forfeited. On top of that, pitchers will be docked $1,000 for every homerun that they give up and any foul balls will cost the batters $500 for the first offense, and $250 for every one after that. Pirates majority owner, Bob Nutting was quoted as saying, “Maybe this will stop all of the useless waste that has been costing me thousands of dollars each year.” Apparently the economy is starting to effect everyone, even the deep pocketed, generous Pirate Ownership.

Mr Nutting also remarked, “The fans want us to put a winning ball club on the field, but they don’t understand the operating costs involved. Running a high caliber major league team isn’t easy, you know. Maybe if they were serious about winning like they pretend to be, they would volunteer to help around the ballpark. We could always use an extra hand cutting the grass or even washing the players uniforms. Do you think anyone will step forward and help out? I doubt it, these fans are all talk whenever it comes to winning around here!”

Ouch. Strong words from an even stronger leader. There are also rumors that starting in 2011, each ticket will allow fans to watch the first three innings of the game. If they wish to stay longer they will be required to pay an additional $1 per inning or they can save some money and get the rest of the game for $5 if they agree to help clean up the seating area around them.