Well if you liked my post about my kid and his blue balls, you are going to like this one too. This one has to do with one of my kids pooping himself in Giant Eagle and embarrassing the hell out of my wife!

It all starts innocently enough on a typical day of grocery shopping for my wife. Well at the Giant Eagle that she was shopping at, they have a little daycare type place called the Eagle’s Nest. This is a place where you can leave your kid for an hour or so while you do your shopping in peace! Looks good on paper, right? Well, of course it doesn’t always work out that way. At least not whenever one of my kids is involved!

So Tammy is going about her business, buying one of everything in the store, and around ten gallons of ice cream. All of a sudden, a worker from the Eagle’s Nest comes flying up to her, ranting about how they have been buzzing her and why wasn’t she responding. Apparently they give you a buzzer and if they need to get a hold of you, they can just buzz you to get you to come back. I guess the buzzer wasn’t working and they were trying to get her to come back because my son said that he needed to go to the bathroom.

So Tammy goes back and gets him and then takes him to the bathroom, While he’s in there he says that he doesn’t have to go because he already went. She just figures that maybe another one of the workers took him in to go potty. She asks him and he says that no, he pooped in his pants. So she checks his pants and doesn’t see anything so she just figures that he thought that he did, but must be mistaken. So she gets his pants back up and then decides to just keep him with her because she was almost done shopping. While she’s going along pushing the buggy, she runs in to one of my other sons teachers. While standing there talking to her, she sees my son shaking his leg. All of a sudden the poop falls out on to the floor in the middle of the store. So there’s my son, my wife, the teacher, and some other shoppers staring at this poop laying on the floor. My wife is in shock and as she is struggling with how to handle this, my son says real loud, “there’s that poop I was talking about!”

Well as you can imagine, my wife wanted to crawl inside a hole, she was so embarrassed. She tells the teacher that she has to go and grabs a wet wipe out of her purse and scoops up the turd with cat-like quickness. As she’s puts my son in the buggy and tries to get far away from the scene of the accident, she notices a little old lady working one of those tables that give away food samples. Next to the table is a garbage can for the people to put the used plates and napkins into, once they are done sampling. Well on this special day, this lady got more than just napkins in her garbage can. She got a special treat courtesy of my wife and son! Yeah, she threw it away, right next to the poor old lady.

I can imagine some of the remarks from the innocent food samplers, “This pizza roll taste good, but they smell kind of funny.” or “Wow, I think that poor old lady needs to go on a bathroom break!” Yup, that’s the kind of stuff that goes on with my kids. So if you hear that my wife is going shopping, stay clear, or at least don’t try any of the food!